Dinosaur Bear Proudly Presents:

Storming the Rastle’

A Bozeman Check-in Series Short Story

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Gather round’ children, stay awhile, and listen…

Ancient tales speak of a valiant dinosaur king named Tristen. King Tristen was said to be the most wise and powerful of all the dinosaur kings who lived in the fourth era. However, for all his wisdom and might, Tristen was not a king to be trifled with, and when a rogue lord attempted to usurp King Tristen’s power then they were met with the utmost of destruction.

One of King Tristen’s most legendary exploits was the day he conquered Storm Castle, one of the most well-defended and mighty fortresses in the Western Lands. While any ordinary King might have taken an entire army numbering in the thousands, King Tristen took only one hundred of his finest warriors, for he knew that a full-frontal assault against Storm Castle would be fruitless. You see, Storm Castle set atop Storm Castle Peak, and it took a whole day of marching uphill, exposed to enemy fire, before you could even reach it. So, King Tristen decided that the best way to take Storm Castle was to remain hidden, and to strike swiftly and silently before the rogue lord could sound the alarm. Yet, even with his bold plan King Tristen knew that this would be a hard-won day for the lord of Storm Castle Peak was of House Rat’ [Cat] and the Rats’ were King Tristen’s most mortal of enemies.

Still, a king is no king if he allows usurpers to hold claims in his lands, so King Tristen had his trusty squire begin preparations early in the morning. They would be bringing only the best of gear – funded by the Iron Bank of Clifford.

Then, they gathered King Tristen’s finest, his blood-sworn champions – the Tristen Brigade – and mounted his most trusty of steeds: Moose II, Son of Moose of House Moose and began their long journey to Storm Castle Peak.

Along the way some of King Tristen’s banner-men joined his cause, riding their own horses of war.

King Tristen knew that the Rats’ would be watching the main road quite closely, so he called upon his polar bear allies to allow him passage down Alaska Road, and his brother Duke Valentino obliged.

After successfully sneaking by the watchful eyes of House Rats’ perimeter scouts King Tristen charged forward to the mountains.

Another of King Tristen’s allies – his brother Marquis Pig – had sent special agents via mud tunnels to provide signage for Tristen to follow, as the wood roads were labyrinthine.

At one point all seemed lost when King Tristen’s forces came across one of the Rats’ “Sky Copters” which can rain devastation from above. Luckily King Tristen’s most skilled saboteur – Baron Pigsten – was present and snuck past the Rat’ defenses and disabled the unholy machine.

From there the strike force followed the river and drew ever nearer to Storm Castle Peak – the Rat’ Lord probably still frolicking in his PJs, unaware of the pending assault.

Then, at long last, King Tristen laid his eyes on Storm Castle itself.

The castle was situated high and mighty atop the peak, and even though King Tristen had managed to get his forces this far, he still needed to scale the mountain without being spotted. So, the men tucked their steeds into the shadow of a rock wall and proceeded on foot.

Rat’ sentries were plentiful and stationed at various points, but fortunately King Tristen’s spies had snuck in under cover of nightfall and relayed their locations to the king.

After passing the sentries King Tristen and his men found the hidden path to the top of Storm Castle Peak. They may never have found it, but King Tristen had forced the information out of his prisoner Ephialtes of Panera, a traitor to the crown who had defected to House Rat’.

Poisonous flowers dotted the path, but fortunately Marquis Pig had warned Tristen that the Rat’ Lord might use such traps, so his men avoided them.

The path gained elevation quickly, and soon King Tristen could see distant villages.

The day was hot and many areas of the path were exposed to the sun, so King Tristen allowed his men to rest in a wooded area.

From there they continued their climb, higher and higher.

As King Tristen climbed, he knew that he had to reclaim these lands, House Rat’ would grow too powerful in these mountains if left unchecked.

Still, the king knew that sentries or scouts could be anywhere, so they frequently stopped to survey their surroundings.

Look closely.

From the rocky outcroppings King Tristen was able to keep track of the Rat’ forces:

For a time things seemed to be going well, almost too well, and it was here on this rocky cliff that King Tristen’s forces were ambushed by a Rat’ Sentry Captain and his men who had spotted them.

The Rat’ sentry party was small – it was clear they hadn’t had enough time to send up a warning signal – but they had caught King Tristen’s forces off guard in the middle of an uphill climb, as such the battle was fierce and chaotic. In fact, so powerful was the clash of the forces that the very Earth trembled and rocks slid across the path.

The battle raged up the hill, and King Tristen began to realize that the Rats’ were trying to reach their allies – and if they were able to warn Storm Castle, then all would be lost. So, King Tristen divided his forces and looped around behind the Rats’. He then counter-ambushed then and pushed the remaining Rats’ to their doom off of this cliff:

As the dust settled, it was clear that the main Rat’ forces had not been alerted, for all was quiet in the mountains.

King Tristen assessed his casualties and then resumed the climb upward. After what seemed like endless hours of climbing, Storm Castle came into sight, its defenders so blissfully confident in their safety that they weren’t even patrolling the outer walls.

The hidden path looped around to the back side of the castle, and here King Tristen gave his troops one final rest before making the final push to the top.

As King Tristen looked out to the valley beyond he saw patrols, traders, caravans, and wanderers all moving slowly along the mountain pass below. None of them knew what was about to transpire on the distant Storm Castle Peak.

As King Tristen’s men regrouped, they began the final march. You see, the trail had looped around the entirety of Storm Castle – bypassing its greatest defenses – and winded up through the thick woods to the rear. This allowed for King Tristen and his forces to come within a stone’s throw of the castle before they would be exposed, and, not only that, it took them to the weakest and lowest side of the castle’s walls.

It was there, in that small wooded patch that one of the keen-eyed Rat’ guards spotted King Tristen’s forces. By then it was far too late for the Rats’ to fully prepare their defenses, but it was just enough time for them to let their arrows fly and engage the approaching forces in battle. As the first Rat’ arrows pierced the sky, King Tristen roared out a thunderous command of “Rarge!” and so began the Battle of Storm Castle Peak.

What followed was so heroic that even today we sing of the battle…

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Strode the one hundred.
“Forward, the Tristen Brigade!
“Charge for the walls!” he said:
Into the valley of Death
Strode the one hundred.

“Forward, the Tristen Brigade!”
Was there a man dismay’d?
Not tho’ the soldier knew,
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Strode the one hundred.

Rat’ to right of them,
Rat’ to left of them,
Rat’ in front of them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm’d at with bolt and shale,
Boldly they strode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Strode the one hundred.

Flash’d all their sabres bare,
Flash’d as they turn’d in air,
Sabring the archers there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder’d:
Plunged in the pitched-smoke
Right thro’ the line they broke;
Rat’ and coward
Reel’d from the sabre stroke
Shatter’d and sunder’d.
Then they strode back, but not
Not the one hundred.

Rat’ to right of them,
Rat’ to left of them,
Rat’ behind them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm’d at with bolt and shale,
While hero and villains fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro’ the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of one hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O’ the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Tristen Brigade,
Noble one hundred.

King Tristen at 7,165′ – triumphant on the throne of Storm Castle Peak.

When the battle had ended, King Tristen stood triumphant over his dominion once more. Despite their defensive position and vastly superior numbers the Rats’ lay slaughtered on the field, and the rogue Rat’ Lord had fallen to Tristen himself. As a tribute to his fallen warriors, Tristen and his squire laid two rocks at the top of Storm Castle’s highest spire.

Far below the villagers looked up in wonder as the flag of King Tristen rose above the fortress.

It was a hard-fought day, and a day of great costs, but King Tristen once again ruled these mountains.

But a good king cannot rest for long, and so King Tristen and his men began reinforcing the barricades in the event of a Rat’ counter-assault.

But as King Tristen looked out from the inner keep, he realized that no such assault would come today.

For so devastating was the Rats’ loss that their forces below had fled in terror at the raised flag of King Tristen.

As King Tristen and his men peered over the edge of the castle’s front walls they saw the last of the Rat’ sentries and scouts fleeing in the distance:

King Tristen knew that one day they might return, and before they did he would fortify the rear of the castle, which would force any would-be attacker to the front walls, which was sure to be their doom:

For no other rogue lord would ever take Storm Castle again, as the peak and all before it now belonged to King Tristen.

Tristen was, and always would be, master of Storm Castle Peak.

As King Tristen and his men shored up the defenses, he noticed a tree growing from the top of the castle – a seemingly impossible feat. Looking to his men, King Tristen declared “Rust as ris ree has frurished in the rimpossible, so roo have re ronquered the runronquerable. So rong as ris ree rands on Rorm Rastle’ Reak, so too rill I be Ring.”

And then, once the supply caravans to make full repairs and modifications and to hold the castle had arrived, King Tristen and his forces departed Storm Castle.

As they marched down the mountain, the trees peacefully swayed in the breeze.

As they passed by the lower edges of the mountain, they noticed that some of the builders that had been ordered in by King Tristen were already hard at work building scout towers – something the Rats’ had sorely lacked.

They were greeted by farmers, villagers, woodsmen, and fishermen alike as they descended, all of whom thanked the good King Tristen for liberating them.

As storm clouds began to move in, King Tristen looked back at the distant Storm Castle, now just a small shadow that gave no clues as to what had transpired there.

King Tristen then returned to Moose II and he and his remaining soldiers began the long trip home. The rain drops that fell from the heavens were a solemn reminder of the price they had paid to rid the land of evil.

As they crossed the river’s bridge – once held by Rat’ guards but now abandoned – King Tristen turned to his men and exclaimed, “Ret’s Ride!”

And so they did, all the way back to King Tristen’s fortress where they honored their dead, celebrated their triumph, and feasted on endless “ricken” and the land’s finest pickles for days.

And so ends the tale of King Tristen and the Battle of Storm Castle Keep.

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Is it all true you ask?

Why of course it is true my child. Go ask any passerby of the old Storm Castle, and they’ll share the same message:

“The heroism of the Tristen Brigade lives on to this day, and just as he claimed, so long as the lone tree grows at the top of Storm Castle Peak, so too will Tristen be King.”