This page serves as a “Who’s Who?” for Dinosaur Bear. It is a way of helping all of us keep track of the various pseudonyms used here on the blog to discuss some various real life people (or maybe just the people in my head, who knows). Consider this to be Dinosaur Bear’s “cast of characters.”
I’ll update these bios as I progress through the blog and mention new people as well as changing circumstances.
[Last Updated: January, 2017]
Taco: Me, see the “About Me” page for me information.
SB: Silly Billy. My spouse. She is odd, much like I am. But nicer on the whole and more sociable. She has her MSW and is a social worker. She likes teacup pigs – and really most animals. One of her eyes is possessed. We are opposite in many ways, but alike in many more. She shares my love of being eccentric, but does not love hominy (at all).
Meem: My Mom person. She made me ride a log ride once when I was a child, causing me great emotional distress. But she is coo and I forgive her, unless I want something. Meem raised me to play Ponopoly in Mexican Restaurants, but I didn’t have what it took to play professionally and became a wino.
Dad: My Dad person. He is good peoples. When I was little I looked sort of like his clone. He always told me to be the best at everything I did. One night in specific he told me that “If you’re going to be a thief, be the best damn thief there is.” I’m now going to be a lawyer, father knows best.
Stepmom: My other Mom person. She is married to my Dad person. Like my Dad she is good peoples. She keeps my Dad from dying of starvation and makes very good BBQ ribs. Her mushroom soup and egg-noodles are known for causing extended periods of sitting at the table.
Daryl 1: He is the older of my two half-brothers. He is about 12 feet tall and is going to college so that he can be a coach or a business man or something one day. If he makes it big, which I believe he has the potential to, I will be first in line to mooch money from him. I once chased him around the house with a knife and “pallows,” which probably diminishes my chance of money.
Daryl 2: The younger of my two half-brothers. In a weird cosmic twist he is also sports oriented, though more on the management side of things. He is actually licensed to referee basketball games and seems to enjoy it. He definitely has a thicker hide than me, I don’t think I could ever be a referee. He has also been doing some coaching lately. He has a dog that legitimately has OCD.
FIL: Father in law. SB’s Dad person. He buys me comics and beer, he also lets me make fun of SB without recourse, pretty much the perfect father in law. He may or may not be Batman.
MIL: Mother in law. SB’s Mom person. She is pretty much the last parent that provides us with care packages, which is worth at least 100 points in the cool book. Similar to FIL, she provides me with ample stories about a younger SB being.. well.. SB.
BIL: SB’s brother person. I am not entirely sure what he is going to school for, every time I think I’ve figured it out I turn out to be wrong – but I do know it’s science related. Like the Daryls he enjoys sports.
Clifford: Oldest son, a Tyrannosaurus-Rex. He accumulated billions of dollars by investing in electricity before we even discovered it. He believes you have to learn “Responsibility” to get things in life, but never really explains it beyond that. He was born somewhere in the Rocky West about 65 million years ago. He comes and goes as he pleases and got his MBA at the same time SB got her MSW.
Tristen: Also a Tyrannosaurus-Rex but still just a baby (but don’t tell him that). He is rowdy and on a constant quest to be “manlies.” Under his self-portrayed rugged exterior, he has a good heart and is smart despite himself. His favorite food is “ricken” (chicken). We are still trying to figure out exactly where he was born, but like his big brother it was likely in the Rocky West. He is a law student like me. He spent some time in the hospital this past year to have all his “war wounds” tended to. He is also a “Reast” – he wanted me to type that last bit.
Valentino: Youngest son, a smart polar bear cub. He loves the outdoors, snow, swimming and fish (“rushi”), he also has an eye for fashion. He wears his heart on his sleeve and is very good-natured. He does however get very cranky when tired and is much stronger than he looks. He is also downright dangerous during his “hibernation” season when he becomes a bit feral without proper naps. He was born in Alaska. He is going for a PhD in Forestry.
Pig: Pig (or “Rig”) came to live with us on Easter, 2015. MIL & FIL helped him find us. Rig is pretty chill and likes relaxing and learning English, which he has pretty much mastered but he still prefers Pig-speak. Rig also likes rooting for things in the couch and really anywhere he can get his nose into. He is going for a PhD in Agriculture. He is a Yoga master with his 1000 hour certification and Mr. Bear is his sensei.
Pigsten: Pigsten is the newest member of the wide Taco family. He, and his many siblings, technically came to live with me and Tristen in Denver (Summer 2015), but this little T-Rex hatchling really came into the spotlight when Pig and I were working in New Mexico. Pig was looking for a companion and choose a T-Rex hatchling from our dinosaur next, and named it Pigsten (Pig + Tristen). Since then Pigsten has developed his own personality and generally likes organizing things and crawling into small places. Pig is training him to hunt insects. Pigsten’s favorite possession is a piece of construction machinary Granda Meem got him.
Squirrel Buddies: Nutty, Nuts, and Nutsie. They live in our bedroom next to the window (so they can climb out onto our tree for adventures). They are pretty chill. They know a little bit of English but mostly stick to Squirrel-Language. They help keep the apartment tidy with their squirrel-organizational skills.
Mr. Bear: He is a friendly brown bear who lives with Meem. He as transcended the mortal plane and freed himself of the physical vices that burden most of us. He shares his enlightened state of nirvana with those who are fortunate enough to cuddle with him. He is Pig’s sensei.
Floppsy: Descendant of the original Easter Bunny, Floppsy lives with FIL and MIL to take care of the guest room. He primarily stays on top of a dresser in the bedroom, it is his loft perch from which to observe the world. He is good friends with Tristen, Valentino, Pig, Pigsten, and Clifford. He especially likes football and his giant-sized (for him) football is never too far away.
Little Friend: The first plant who came to live with us. He was a gift from my Dad and Stepmom in 2008. I believe he is a variant of the Acanthocereus tetragonus cactus species. He was once over 6.5 feet tall before he had to be trimmed down – though he has since returned to that height. He has a wide range of emotions, but all you really need to know is don’t make him mad. He pretty much runs the kitchen (and soon world). He loves Christmas ornaments and has been known to draw blood if you try to take them from him.
Three Amigos: Three cacti who live together in a pot, also a gift from my Dad and Stepmom. Their names are Pancho, Nacho, and Quixote. All three names were given by SB, which is special in that I name most things. Pancho and Nacho are well behaved young cacti. Quixote however is quite the rapscallion. He likes to grow well beyond his boundaries and abilities. In fact the Three Amigos had to be repotted solely because of Quixote. He also pokes the living hell out of you for no reason.
Bonsai Buddy Jr: Our household Bonsai Plant, a gift from Meem. He is a Jade Tree, of the succulent family. Which is nice because it means all of our plants have roughly similar care schedules. Bonsai Buddy is the son of Bonsai Buddy Sr. who was killed at the Battle of Bunker hill in the great gnat war of 2013. Bonsai Buddy Jr. is often referred to simply as Bonsai Buddy as a homage to his lineage.
Rosita: A plant SB received as a gift from her former employer. Rosita seems fairly chill and has settled in nicely with the succulents. I don’t think she likes me though as pretty soon after we met for the first time I trimmed her down fairly substantially and she never seemed to forget that. Still, all the subsequent watering sessions have improved our relations. She lives in the middle window.
Thomas “X”: I say Thomas “X” because Thomas is actually a line of sentient pumpkins who come to live with us in October and have been known to stick around for as long as July. While they are Jack Be Little pumpkins, they appear to have a darker side and may be part of Little Friend’s plot for world domination. Thomas I was 2014-15, Thomas II was 2015-16. Thomas III is 2016-17.
Aunt Train: My paternal Aunt who recently moved to Lowell, MA as part of her work for the government. She buys us lots of food and alcohol which is pretty much the more sure-fire way of getting us to visit! We have to take a train to see her, or vice versa, and thus the name.